This is not a post to suede you one way or the other. It is a post to provide my perspective and hopefully if anyone comes to the decision I came today they can use my experience to provide them with more insight. Before I began my story though, I need to give a little back story. About six months ago in October of 2019, I decided to no longer eat pork, beef, or chicken. I only ate seafood when it came to meat. For me, that was not much though because I am an extremely picky eater and can not deal with the “fishy” taste of seafood. Therefore, I am part of that small percentage of people that don’t like seafood. (When people find that out they always seem disappointed. lol) Anyways, this choice to not eat meat did not happen because I watched a documentary or a huge thing happen to me and motivated me to do so. This was honestly only because my body no longer wanted those meats and whenever I would go to eat them I would get nauseous. Truly, it took me by surprise. How could these things I had been eating for so long all of a sudden no longer be enjoyable to indulge in? I guess my body was learning to have compassion for these other living beings before I was.
Now let's fast forward to today. The past couple of weeks I had been oddly enough craving meat intensely. How could I crave something I hadn’t had in months though? The difference between today and all those other days though is that a caved into it and had chicken for the first time in a while. Yep, that is right folks. I caved in for chicken wings from Wingstop. I am glad I did it though because there are a few things I learned and that were important for me in my growth.
1. Out of all the gratitude, I show there seems to be little for my food.
2. Fitting into a label truly is not important. I do not need to put a label on myself be it a vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian, flexitarian, and so on…
3. It is important for me to follow what my body is telling me and the feelings I have as I continue to grow as those will lead me in the correct direction.
4. Cutting things out of my diet is not a loss but a new beginning to explore more foods.
5. Sometimes our eating habits are covering up a deeper issue at the core. (This was pointed out to me by my best friend since high school and boy did it hit deep when she asked me what my why was for wanting meat again.)
So, yes, I ate the chicken and the first bite was mouth-watering but then I realized I was not truly missing out on anything. I was craving meat again because I was being challenged to see if I would go back to old ways or continue to be strong and move forward. I had been feeling down the past couple weeks of and on. I truly just wanted to be comforted. The best way I knew to comfort myself was with familiar food that I always remembered enjoying throughout most of my life. In hindsight, I wish I would have dug a little bit deeper beforehand but I honestly don’t think I would have had the clarity hit me in the face as abruptly. Even though I caved, that doesn’t mean I failed because I am aware. I know now with multiple areas in my life that since I am trying to change I need to go all in and not be back and forth. It is no longer an option to give up so easily when I am working so hard to change old habits and do better for myself mentally, emotionally, and physically. This is just my story but I am sure you have your own be it with food or some material item that you use as comfort. Just know that we are so much stronger than we think and if there is a feeling of release you have. Do not be afraid to let something go that you once loved so much. It will allow for a new perspective and most likely so much more.
-Settexoxo
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